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Play / Tim Lord

Gull Radar

Will a herring gull take your food? A threat assessment for anyone eating outdoors in Cornwall.

Tick every statement that is true right now, then run the radar and receive your fate.

Tick everything that is true right now

Food is visible and uncovered
Within sight of a harbour, prom or beach
It is a pasty, chips or ice cream (the holy trinity)
You are alone — no human shield
It is the summer holidays; the gulls have trained on tourists
You made eye contact with a gull (a declaration of war)
You are looking at your phone right now, mid-chip
You are indoors with the door shut

Science* has the answer. (*not science)